


House of W – AKA The Triticum of Torment

by NeoShrike



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Crack, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 19:46:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16604354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeoShrike/pseuds/NeoShrike
Summary: Chapter 1:One of the Avengers has changed the world. Some might think for the best, most will think it's for the worse.





	House of W – AKA The Triticum of Torment

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Doodlegirl1998](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doodlegirl1998/gifts).



> Chapter 1:
> 
> One of the Avengers has changed the world. Some might think for the best, most will think it's for the worse.

The sound of the alarm cut into the cool winter morning. It's insistent buzzing bringing an end to the warm sanctuary of dreams.

Stifling a deep yawn, Tony rolled over and found the other side of his bed sadly empty. Resisting the urge to wrap back up and doze for a while longer, Tony cracked his fingers and toes before grumpily rolling out of bed. His motivation was not what it used to be. Every morning, as of late, it had been proving harder and harder to find a reason to continue his work, let alone get out of bed. A heavy sigh escaped his lips as the feeling of dread started to grip his stomach. Tony blanched as the pessimistic thoughts that had been haunting him tickled his mind.

“ _I can't deal with this for much longer. If we can't find Wanda and get her to undo this giant mess, I don't know if I'll be able to keep my sanity in check”._

Lost in his own negativity, Tony had only just noticed the rich scent of freshly brewed coffee hanging in the air. Its warm aroma inviting him back from his melancholic stupor.

Approaching the marble laden kitchen, Tony heard a familiar voice humming away and the clink of mugs being set on a table.

“Come on, Honey, I've got your favourite blend for you”.

Pepper's voice was like music to Tony's ears as he took a seat with a smitten grin on his roguish face. It was almost enough for him to forget why he was in such a mood to begin with. Almost. The trepidation he was feeling quickly snapped him back into reality.

“You wait there, Tony, I'll grab your breakfast. Do you want the usual or should I try spicing it up for you? Steve told me that he's been trying his with fruit recently. I think that might be worth a try”.

With a wink, Pepper quickly turned towards the cupboards and Tony felt his heart rate spike.

“ _God damn it, here we go again”._

A cold sweat started to run down Tony's back as Pepper's well manicured hands reached into the cupboard and pulled out a distinctive yellow box.

 

–

 

“Wanda, would you give it a rest” sighed Bruce in exasperation.

“But I keep telling you! I've been looking into this with Vision and we both agree that this could really benefit the team. The health benefits alone should be enough to convince you of that”. Wanda was like an excitable puppy. She had indeed been researching her subject in the labs and the unexpectedly late nights were beginning to show on Bruce's face. The bags under his eyes were looking darker by the day.

“Yes, I've seen the charts, Wanda. I know that whatever this formula is, it seems to help provide enough energy throughout the day to help us get our jobs done. But still, I can't just go ahead and demand that the rest of the team start eating this “Supplement”. Let me call Steve and we'll see what we can do”. As Bruce turned away and marched off to the briefing room, Wanda let out a small chuckle.

“ _Oh, Bruce. You don't need to call Steve. I know this will work. It's in everyone's best interest after all...”._

Her previously excitable expression slowly morphed into a bewitching sneer as Wanda whispered, “No more sugary cereal”.

 

–

 

Tony couldn't hide his grimace as Pepper placed two bricks of Weetabix into his bowl.

“You know, I think I'll take Steve's advice today”, Tony croaked. The wave of exhaustion hit him like a freight train.

 

–

 

Every day for the last three months, he had had to stomach Weetabix for breakfast. Ever since Wanda had spoken those fateful words, nearly all breakfast cereals had disappeared from the world. All that was left in their place was Weetabix. The global panic was immediate, Stores, manufacturers, supply chains, adverts. All had suddenly changed to accommodate Weetabix and nothing else. Factories found that their machinery had been reconfigured, Advertisers found their billboards plastered over and stores found all of their stock had been transmuted into those inviting yellow boxes.

The Avengers had been assembled without delay only to find a certain member absent. After putting two and two together, Tony realised what had happened and stormed out of the briefing room.

 

–

 

Lost in is memories, Tony slowly lowered his spoon to his bowl. The chopped banana that Pepper had eagerly provided proved to be of little distraction. The cold brown paste that his breakfast had become reflected Tony's mood perfectly.

With a dour expression and dull lifeless eyes, Tony brought the concrete concoction to his mouth and began to chew.

“ _I swear, Wanda, as soon as this tracker is finished, I'm going to find you and throw you into the Raft. Steve won't be able to save you this time, oh no.”_

With the prospect of Justice flitting across his mind, some colour slowly returned to Tony's cheeks. He swallowed his mouthful and looked menacingly over at Pepper.

“I'll be in the lab”

 


End file.
